5 ways to get to know people better. | by Riddhi Surti | Jun, 2022

1. The gifting pattern!

• I have noticed that what people do out of love for you is simply something that they like and if you do the same things for them as well once in a while, you can get easy access to their hearts. Let me explain this better to you…
• If a person is getting to know you, they mostly don’t know what exactly you like so they take a chance on it. Some might bring you handmade diaries and letters which reflect their interest in handmade stuff and their old school nature. Some might bring you food that simply proves that their love language is food. Some might give you a body massage post a long day, this shows how they like to relax at the end of the day and wish to do the same for the other person they care for. It is as simple as that sometimes.

2. The eyes Chico, they never lie!

• While you are having a conversation with someone always try to maintain eye contact with them, this shows that you are interested in the conversation and might also help the person to open up more to you.
• While they give you the little details of their life don’t miss out on the spark in their eyes. The topic that lits up their eyes and makes them smile is probably the topic very close to their heart. This topic now gives you an insight into what that person probably likes.

3. Childhood memories/stories.

• You can get to know a lot about a person from their childhood stories. Their childhood speaks volumes about their unfiltered self. You can know what a person grew up liking, what mistakes they made, and how they got over them growing up, (their healing story matters as much as their fun stories, never forget). It can be anything, it can be their favourite food, their favourite music band, their favourite holiday destination. These little stories are your escape into their world.
• The best part is that anything related to a person’s childhood is very close to them, it can be a good memory or sometimes even a bitter one. A person never forgets these memories. Nostalgia is something everyone loves to cherish so Why not take efforts to recognize them and help your loved ones relive it. If you do this for them, I swear they will never forget you. (Remembering minute details about your favourite person is always a bonus).

4. Do not miss their trigger points

• When you are getting to know someone, they do give you hints about their past which wasn’t that pleasing. You must recognize this and respect it in their story. Some might not speak to you at all about their past just as an effort to not bring that up but this very thing is also a hint that there’s something that has bothered your person back in time.
• Not every person you meet will be comfortable sharing about their discomforts in life or about their dark days, this doesn’t mean that you ignore that aspect just because the person is not ready to speak about it. You can try your best to know those trigger points and to keep those points out of the conversation if needed, or to deal with them gently and skillfully without hurting another person’s feelings. With time surely every person opens up and life unfolds both good and bad sides of a person.

5. Observation is the key.

• Being observant and being present at the moment is probably the best thing that you can do for someone when you are getting to know them. When you keep a track of their little details say for example, that you notice the person that you are getting to know likes to eat 100% dark chocolate from a certain organic brand and you get them that chocolate next time you meet them, you’d be surprised to see how happy they get at your little efforts.
• Just like that if a person is talking to you about their pending chores or maybe they complain to you about a minor headache, and if you remember this and mention it later ask them about it. This practice will instantly increase their respect for you and make them adore you for being so considerate. Never miss the minute details and watch how a person unfolds in front of you.

The fast-paced lives that we live deserve some slow love and care from our loved ones and for our loved ones. Especially in budding relationships, these small things help to build the foundation for a solid relationship in the future.

Note: This blog is based on my observation, the opinions can vary for the same.