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How to NOT avoid your feelings.
You’re probably doing it right now, avoiding the present, and how you are feeling in this moment.
You are after all either on your phone, tablet or computer reading this piece. And how did you get here? There was probably a lot of scrolling beforehand, on various sites and social media.
We all know that we live in a world of distractions, they’re everywhere.
It makes it really easy for us to avoid ourselves, and what we see as “the void of being still”.
Why do you need to feel your emotions? Because feeling is living, when you feel your emotions fully, you feel more alive, and you can also process them properly so they don’t get “stuck”, which can lead to down days, depression, and anxiety etc.
Overall it’s about not holding back and instead living your life to the fullest.
The thing about your feelings, otherwise known as your emotions is that they can be rather scary to be with. What do I mean by ‘be with’? I mean see them as they are, accepting them fully as the emotions that you are feeling. Whether it’s sadness, anger, fear and even joy and happiness. It’s hard to accept your feelings, because it’s hard to accept yourself just as you are. And being emotional is something that we are often taught is weak or sensitive.
Did you know that you are afraid to feel joy? I mean really feel joy. The reason for that is death, well, more specifically the fear of loss.
You are feeling really good, life is great and boom a fear bomb comes in: ‘What if it doesn’t last?’, ‘What if he/she dies or gets hurt?’, ‘If something goes wrong now it’s really going to hurt’. You get the idea, we’ve all had these fear bombs at one point or another.
So how do you feel your feelings without avoidance?
The answer is you try your hardest to minimise the amount you avoid yourself. That means having more time doing nothing, putting your phone and other devices in another room, turning them on silent, and simply sitting staring out the window.
Or lie down on the carpet (this feels great on the spine by the way).
And you don’t have to do this for hours, just five minutes is enough, you’ll probably enjoy it though, so five minutes might turn into ten, you never know.
You can also become more self aware, which helps you recognise when you are holding back or blocking your emotions. I have an article on becoming more self aware here.
Life can be a bit serious and dull sometimes, and that can easily show up in how we feel — we stop feeling all together and become “numb to life”.
Obviously this isn’t fun at all, so the more you actively practise feeling life as it is, and being with yourself as you are, the more life becomes an enjoyable experience. Because all your feelings are equally important.
Just because one feels better than the other, it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be felt. In fact emotions are polars, one cannot exist without the other. Can you imagine joy without sadness? No, they go together perfectly.
If you’ve clicked this article and read this far, that’s bloody great, it means you want to feel more and fully live your life.
It’s simple to not avoid your feelings, but not easy. Be gentle with yourself and the journey of the emotional rollercoaster that is life.
Give yourself permission to feel, and slowly bit by bit, open to life like a flower does to the sun.
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