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Learning how to regulate my own nervous system is one of the many gifts sobriety has given me. The ability to create space and respond instead of reacting has been a game changer for my relationships, especially the relationship I have with myself (oh, hello, actual self care). However, the lessons didn’t come fast or easy- they never seem to, do they?
In light of that, I’ve collected a few examples of ways I manage stress and anxiety through nervous system regulation. These techniques might be familiar and are excellent ways to activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) aka our system of “rest & digest”.
Belly breathing is essentially “breathing deeply”.
Here’s how you do it: Pause right now and take a deep breath- where do you feel it? Do you notice your belly extending outward as it fills with air? Or is your breath strictly confined within your lungs, making your chest puff out?
There is no wrong answer.
Now try again with attention focused on your belly, right below your heart. Fill your belly up with air (your chest will naturally rise, too, don’t worry) until you can’t anymore, then slowly exhale the breath out.
Do this for 1–2 minutes and notice how you feel.
Better known as visualization, calling to the front of your mind specific, calming imagery will in fact activate your PNS.
Sort of a “fake-it-till-you-make-it” type thing (or, another favored variation of this phrase: see it until you believe it).
All you gotta do with this one is bring to mind something that brings you joy and calm. Perhaps it’s your favorite spot you’d play at as a child, a camping site you always go to, a dream destination, a warm hug, a christmas tree, whatever it is, close your eyes and bring it to mind.
Allow yourself the space to really see the imagery- the colors, the textures, perhaps the imagery starts to become a movie. Let your imagination run wild and enjoy the feelings of peace and calm these images give you.
I know, I KNOW– eye rolling to suggest. I once was there, in your shoes, being suggested once again to meditate. I resisted and resisted until I didn’t and welp, now I am here, telling you it is in fact all it’s cracked up to be.
The trick is going into it without judgment. If you are giving yourself the time to sit with your thoughts, you are already doing it “right”- anything else is just your judgment on how it’s supposed to look.
And, news flash, it’s not about how the meditation actually looks.
It’s about how that meditation shifts your perspective and how you show up in the world. That’s the whole point. Not to meditate the right way, but to have peace in how you show up in life outside meditation.
What I like most about these three techniques is their accessibility and availability.
You can do all of these, anywhere, at any time.
A singular, focused inhale/exhale can be a meditation.
Remembering the waterfall you visited last year can be recalled at any point.
Right now, you can take a deep belly breath as you’re reading this (if you did, didn’t that feel nice?).
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