Am I doing enough?. This is the question I ask myself… | by Shalini Sharma | Aug, 2022

This is the question I ask myself almost every day.

Am I using my time effectively?

Am I working hard enough?

Am I learning enough?

Am I growing every day?

Am I doing better than yesterday?

Isn’t this something we all are bound to think about often?

In today’s world, it is rather simple to feel as though you are not accomplishing enough. You watch everyone around you hustling and struggling, and you wonder if I am doing as much, if not more. It’s easy to become entangled in this competitiveness. And I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me.

I’ve always had this bitter-sweet relationship with growth. Obviously, I don’t constantly compare myself to everyone else. But am I always unaffected by the world around me? I don’t believe so. And I am also conscious that I should be my only competitor. I should compare myself to no one other than myself.

But sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel enough. One day I am the happiest person on earth, living my best life, and the next day I feel absolutely lost and broken.

No matter how much I read or remind myself of my unique journey, in that one moment, I give up.

I say the most awful things I can think of to myself, only to realise later that I didn’t mean it. I continually preach self-love to my friends, family, and everyone on social media, but sometimes I struggle with it the most. At that moment, I believe everything to be futile and am incredibly critical of myself.

In these situations, just one thing helps me: letting it all out by talking to someone or writing everything down. Exactly as I am doing right now, and as I write each word, I feel the burden lifting from my shoulders. My mind is becoming lighter, and my thoughts are becoming clearer.

If you’re someone like me who keeps forgetting their worth, struggles daily with self-love, may be excessively critical of themselves, and occasionally falls back into the pattern of self-sabotage, try writing.

Don’t think about anything. Take a piece of paper and a pen, or simply your phone, and start writing. But I must warn you, it can be frightening. You never know what you might discover.

But you must go through the storm, have the courage to look your worst thoughts in the eye and refuse to give them the power to ruin you.

We often view personal development to be a linear process. We believe that if we’ve learned our lessons the hard way, we may never have to work on the same things again. But that’s not true. We may have to work on the same thing several times before fully grasping the lesson. Possibly even after that. Ups and downs are inevitable, and the process of going through them only serves to strengthen us.

My growth may not look similar to others, but that doesn’t mean it’s not growth. My goals may not seem attainable, but that doesn’t imply I won’t reach them. And my path may not be as straight as I had envisioned, but it doesn’t mean I am not progressing.

Of all the things I’ve ever tried, writing has worked every time. It provides my scattered thoughts with a structured outlet. And once I write it all down, I realise it may not be so horrible after all.

Perhaps life is worth living and not meant to be taken so seriously.

Perhaps there is hope, and I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.

Perhaps I am doing enough.