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You know when we’re feeling really good we are really good cheerleaders for ourselves?
We can properly big ourselves up, for me this manifests in some of the following ways:
- You look great today
- The way you are managing your life is outstanding
- I think you’re a really wonderful person
- You have a fantastic smile
- You’re quite fun but also don’t pressure yourself to be fun 24/7
- I actually like you as a person
- I’m proud of you
- I have patience with you
- I forgive your past mistakes and the fact you are on a journey of learning and trying to be better
- I appreciate all that you do
- Whenever you feel low again, remember that you will feel happy again soon
And then we go through a period of life that feels tough and it all goes away? I don’t know about you but I lose all sense of being able to rationally like myself that much at all when I’m in a real place of self sabotaging. I have no patience with myself coming, I have no forgiveness, I say nothing kind to myself. I basically go into a phase of just lambasting myself and it feels like I will never end? It’s like I can’t hold on to the rational part of my brain. I can’t see anything clearly. It’s almost like a defence mechanism.
And I don’t really know what we do about that. When I say we I’m assuming there’s others that feel the same…if not I’m open to advice.
But maybe if we didn’t fear the low points it would make life a bit easier. It’s almost like when we feel low we think we’ve lost happy forever. We’ll never get it back, so in our state of fear we end of attacking ourselves for feeling unhappy because we’re scared we’ll be stuck unhappy forever. Maybe if we looked at our moods and emotions with a bit more indifference we wouldn’t feel the changes with such extremeness, we’d feel less intimidated by the change.
So I guess what I’m saying is I think we all owe ourselves the service of being okay with sad. Being okay with low. And I’m not talking about depression. That’s different and not in my field of expertise. I’m talking about low level sadness or disappointment. It doesn’t need to be scary. It’s just another part of us. I wonder if we were a bit mor comfortable with it we could maybe even say nicer things to ourselves during the period. Things like:
- I still appreciate you
- You’re still the same person, you’re just feeling a bit different today
- I don’t need you to be happy all the time
- This part of you is just as important as the other parts
I’m not going to tell you not to listen to the voice inside your head when you’re sad. At times, it’s just not possible. But why I’m going to try to do is to not fear it so much. Sadness will come again, anger, disappointment, they will surface and it’s okay. We’re not broken. To feel all of the emotions is a sure fire sign that you are living. A more familiar you will return. But in the mean time? Just sit with the unknown and scary part of you for a while. Just sit with it for a while. You don’t have to love it, but coming to a point of acceptance could work wonders for us.
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