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Barbara Corcoran is looking for one thing…
I listened to a podcast yesterday where the interviewee, Barbara Corcoran — real estate mogul and one of the sharks on the television show Shark Tank — answered a common question in an uncommon way.
Q: “If you could choose only three qualities in an entrepreneur that would make you bet on them, what would they be?”
A: “I look for injury. I look for anger in the individual. If I could find someone…who had injury at an early age and has something to prove, I’ve got myself a winner.”
I was surprised. I thought she might say something like tenacity or confidence. But, anger? I thought for a moment.
She’s right, though.
Last night, after a long day in the dance studio with some very talented but exhausting college students, and an even longer day with a four-year-old, I begrudgingly scrubbed a pot with my hot pink rubber gloves. Fine. If he doesn’t want to help out, I’ll just do it myself. My anger at my (admittedly hardworking husband) bubbled up with the suds in the sink.
Why I was angry, I have no idea. I had agreed to do the dishes for a month as a part of my husband’s birthday present and he was, in fact, helping out by giving the kid a bath.
Nevertheless, I was grumpy. If he doesn’t want to pitch in, I’ll just do everything myself, then. I repeated this ridiculous mantra as I punched the Smart Auto button on the dishwasher, grabbed my laptop, and stomped into the bedroom.
Interestingly, though, I proceeded to use that irritation to fuel another half hour of answering emails and collecting release forms for an upcoming shoot with my company. I was hot under my skin and sitting still just wasn’t doing it for me. So, I got things done while I stewed. I folded laundry, I put away my kid’s toys, and I raged through sorting a few days’ mail.
In short, I was more productive because I was angry.
Long-term, though, this productive anger also makes sense. If you have something to prove, if you have the proverbial chip on your shoulder, you have a little more fuel than most people to come out swinging at the end of the fight.
Now, is that kind of existence a healthy way to live your life? Yeah…probably not.
Anger is often labeled as a “secondary emotion.” In Very Well Mind, Dr. Matthew Tull says, “Secondary emotions are often caused by the beliefs we have about experiencing certain emotions.” Anger is sometimes considered secondary because it is a response to an outside stimulus and it’s often a reaction to another emotion we feel.
So, for instance, if someone steps in front of you in line at the local Starbucks, you might feel angry. But first, you probably would have felt hurt that they didn’t respect you enough to not let you have your rightful place in line. Or, you might have felt sad that this person thinks they are somehow superior to you.
Some emotions that can spark anger are feeling hurt, scared, frustrated, humiliated, or rejected. And largely, these emotions occur in relation to an event outside ourselves.
Barbara Corcoran looks for angry people with a chip on their shoulder. But, I believe she’s looking for something else.
When we choose to move to anger instead of staying in pain, fear, or discouragement, we choose the more active emotion. We take the wheel and take action. We choose to fight.
Now, I’m not saying anger is a great thing, but I do think that those who choose to be angry, who dig themselves out of the emotional pit of powerlessness, are those who have the guts to take action in some way in the rest of their lives. And those who, in the long run, will cultivate the tenacity it takes to succeed in business.
Do you need to have a chip on your shoulder to be successful? No. But, it might not hurt, either. So, wash your dishes, take your rightful place in the coffee queue, and when you’re a little more ticked off than usual, use your energy for productivity.
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