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It’s the weekly Out in the Garden column, with Mark Cox of Baytree Garden Centre, Weston…
Events have taken a turn for the worse this week but I am trying to keep my spirits up during this turbulent time.
Last week I was arrested on suspicion of stealing bird food from gardens in and around the Quadring area.
I tried to explain to the authorities that the bird feed was indeed my own but alas as I had been forced to live in the shed following an argument with my wife’s mother more than three weeks ago my appearance was less than that of a gentleman and more of Worzel Gummage.
It transcended that my wife had changed the locks to the house on her mother’s instructions, and this made proving my identity impossible as all of my documents where inside.
I believed that my wife, after returning home from driving her mother to Leicester, would confirm my identity.
Unfortunately, it would appear she had decided to stay for a week or two at her mother’s and as I have no phone and no way of contacting her, I am now convalescing at Her Majesty’s pleasure with quite a jolly nice bunch of young chaps whom share my love of gardening.
Billy, X-Man and T-Dog as they like to be known are very interested in the cultivation of exotic herbs. T-Dog has a particular interest in how he could grow his exotic herbs indoors as sadly he doesn’t have a garden or any windows in his flat at home.
It’s good to know that these young people who have fallen off the rails are taking a keen interest in gardening.
Now, Mr McKay my warden seems to have taken me under his wing – I think he’s read some of my articles.
His living quarters are only a short walk from my wing and he has the most stunning of gardens. In the middle of his garden he has an apple tree that was planted maybe three to four years ago. I said to him that it really could do with a prune and now is the perfect time of the year to do it.
So I set to work pruning his tree. The idea, I said to him, is to remove about 10-20% of the old wood from the tree. Taking too much away in one season would be detrimental to the tree. Using a sharpish pair of secateurs I removed the old growth that was in the centre of the tree. My aim is to create a more open shape which will allow for better air circulation and more light to illuminate the canopy which in turn will help produce healthy ripe fruit.
Every now and then I took a step backwards to make sure that I wasn’t removing too much wood from one area or pruning at one height. I told Mr McKay that I was only thinning the branches and that a full hair cut would be counter-productive.
Pleased with the result I’d achieved, I collected the dozen or so branches that I pruned from the floor and proceeded to follow Mr McKay back indoors.
To my relief, Mrs Cox was standing behind a glass screen. “No I’ve never seen him before in my life,” she said to the detective…
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