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You know when you have to keep your mouth shut. But, there’s no button to switch off your mind. Even in the 0.00000001 second of time you have, before you could decide what to say, your mind always takes a step ahead to play tricks on you. What if they cannot hear me clearly? What if someone suddenly interrupts my words? What if no one even notices anything I say? You know you’ve heard these questions a lot. In your head. It’s all in your head where no one else can hear it. They keep repeating themselves every time you try to speak. It can happen once or three times or even more in a day, just as many times as you try to get involved in a conversation. Wait, I mean in a conversation with the people you are not truly comfortable with. You might recite those questions over and over again for days, months, and years every single time you have to deal with those kinds of people. And, unfortunately for people like us, there are more people like them than the kind we like to be with.
Oftentimes, we hear people telling us “You’re too quiet.” And having only a few friends in every circle is nothing new. Never becoming the spotlight? Well, we are not looking for everyone’s attention anyway. Wanting to disappear in a party or any social events? Wishing you had a superpower to be invisible so that no one would look at you with pitiful eyes for not having anybody to talk to? Truth is, we are comfortable that way. Having no one to talk to feels better than having to engage in a conversation on another boring subject.
But still, doesn’t it anger you when people look down on you for being ‘too quiet’? Or when they misunderstand you cause being ‘too quiet’ makes you seem dull, uncool and unwanted? And you start to wonder if they ever think of it in another way. What if they are the boring ones?
You know what the majority of people who know you think of you. ‘Right, she/he is smart but…’ It’s like the only thing they acknowledge is the quality of your brain which ends with a ‘but’. In my country, being smart is not the most favorable thing. Especially when you are a girl. You would hear comments like ‘Why would you go to college if you are only going to be a mom and cook in the kitchen?” a lot. If you were a girl, just be pretty and overly cheerful. Then, whoaa, a man comes to date you and marry you. Then, boom, you have a kid or two and you know the rest of the story.
Sometimes, even, some people do not give you a chance to speak because they think you have no single opinion on your mind for, again, being ‘too quiet’. I know this is not the case for you, for all of us. Don’t you ever feel like shouting in a crowd of people something like ‘Hey! I can talk too, you know!!!’? But you know it’s going to be useless. Once they see you as an introvert, their forever impression of you is someone who cannot speak more than a few words or sentences in a conversation.
Yeah, I’m tired of this too. Sometimes I just want to jump out there and face my life while pretending to be an extrovert. I know I could do that. I might even nail it, you know. But, then again, we only live once. Why should we live this life being busy pleasing everybody who gives no f*ck for our happiness? Why can’t we just focus on people who truly care for us?
I’m sure you’ve heard these too from your loved ones, close friends, or anyone who knows you well. They always tell you that you are a great friend, an amazing person. And it’s such a pity that not everyone knows that side of you. Yeah, that’s the real you. Being an introvert is just being different in how you recharge your social energy. Being an introvert doesn’t make you less interesting.
It’s such a pity that those people can’t get to see this fantastic side of you. You are special, dear. Cherish yourself. And cherish those who cherish you too.
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