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Identifying Negative Patterns & How To Deal With Them Pt. 2
Hello gorgeous gorgeous girls and guys. I hope you found last week’s article illuminating. I am super excited to jump into this week’s, so I’m not wasting any time. If you’re new here, or did not read last week’s article, please go back and read that now, otherwise this one won’t be useful.
So as you guys remember, I was trying to get over my control issues and my inability to live in the present. In order to tackle what seemed like a monumental task, I had to find a way to anchor high level concepts into my daily life. So here’s what I did.
I opened my notes app on my phone and created a new note titled “Maddie’s Hot Girl Era.” Obviously this is super nerdy, but feel free to come up with whatever you want to call the new version of yourself. In this note I created five separate sections: my goals, my mantra, my challenge, my productive thoughts and my unproductive thoughts. I will go into each section in more detail, but it should look something like this:
TITLE OF YOUR NEW PLAN
- GOALS:
- MANTRA:
- CHALLENGE:
- THOUGHTS:
- PRODUCTIVE
- Recurring:
- x
- y
- Date
- x
- y
- UNPRODUCTIVE
- Recurring:
- Date
- x
- y
- Date
- (Bonus Section) THINGS TO BE DOING THAT LEAD TO PRODUCTIVE THOUGHTS
Let’s start with the goals section. This is simple, you write down whatever you identified as the problem area from last week’s article. I had specifically written these two goals, “1. anchor myself to the present, and 2. focus on me. Love me.”
Then, I wrote down my mantra. This very important and comes into play later. Any time I had an unproductive thought or I strayed from my goals, I would repeat my mantra to help anchor me. It took me a long time to come up with my mantra, but it’s something I use during meditation and throughout my day whenever I need it. I can talk more about creating your mantra another day, but essentially it should be a simple sentence(s) that encompasses the path to achieving your goals.
My mantra is, “I am the creator of my reality. I am everything I need. I let go.” What I’m saying here is that I have the power to change and shape my own life. Then by saying I am everything I need, I’m furthering my previous statement, and adding a layer of self-validation that I don’t need from someone else. Finally, accepting that I am the creator of my own reality, and that I am everything I need, I can let go of my control. The reason this is located close to the top of the note, is so you can refer to it easily whenever times get tough. Your mantra will be an important player in how quickly you progress.
The third section of the note documents your challenge to yourself. It should be a tangible action that assists in achieving your goals. For me, I challenged myself to not think past one week at a time. Anything beyond Sunday-Sunday was off limits so I could force myself to stay in the present. Any time I caught myself thinking beyond the week, I would write it down (we’ll get into that section next).
The final section of this note documents your thoughts, productive and unproductive. This is where the magic happens. Every day you will document your unproductive and productive thoughts (I’m including screenshots from my actual note below for reference). Likely on the first day you will have more unproductive that productive thoughts, but that’s okay. Over time, you will start to have less unproductive and more productive thoughts until eventually there will be no more unproductive thoughts.
The other important thing, is that every time you have an unproductive thought, try to turn it into a positive on the spot. This will become easier to believe the more you do it. At first, you’re probably writing them down without actually beleiving what you’re saying, but I guarantee that if you do this every day, you will start to beleive it until you have no more unproductive thoughts.
If I can do it, so can you.
As you can see from my notes, on April 18th, I didn’t have one productive thought, and I had 5 unproductive thoughts. On April 19th, I had 7 unproductive thoughts and only 4 productive. But, that’s still progress from the day before.
What I like about this process is that it not only keeps you aware and accountable of your own thinking, but it’s also documented, tangible progress that gives you the strength to keep pushing forward. You can see yourself evolving right in front of your eyes and this process is what pushed me every day until I accomplished my goals.
A bonus section you can also add to this document is a section titled “things I can be doing to focus my energy on my goals.” Essentially, this section for me was full of ways I could focus on staying in the present. I included stuff like, painting, cleaning the house, spending time with family, reading a book, etc. You get the idea.
I hope this action plan can help you as much as it helped me. I want to show you guys that it doesn’t take years of therapy to change your life. You are the creators of your own realities and the power to grow lies with you.
This might be awkward to talk to other people about, but I encourage you to share this journey with your trusted friends and family. But make your choices wisely. This is a vulnerable journey you are embarking on and you should only include people who have your best interest at heart. Talking it out loud with others can help reiterate your mission and goals. Plus, you might encourage someone you’re close with to join you in self-healing!
Please don’t hesitate to reach out in the comments if you guys have any questions or comments! I can’t wait to hear how this works for you guys! See you next week xx
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