[ad_1]
The changes that occurred during our time apart were vital to our relationship. You would think that the 5 Love Languages is a cure-all to understanding your partner however it is much deeper than that. We have different relationship attachment styles, unhealed traumas, emotional triggers, and a general day-to-day life to navigate.
Was this all inevitable and pandemic or no pandemic we would be in this same place? I don’t think so. The blessing of the pandemic, for some of us, is it gave you no option but to make use of the newfound free time you had available. Without the secondary effects of the pandemic (lockdown/quarantine), I don’t think this emotional journey would have taken place and I wouldn’t have an in-depth understanding of myself or my partner. For example, I learned how my dismissive-avoidant attachment style responds to my girlfriend’s anxious-avoidant attachment style. This created a new style of communication and expression for our relationship. As I developed, so did the pieces of the puzzle needed to put my relationship back together.
While I am happy to be stable in my now 2.5 year-long relationship, I also choose not to let the butterfly effect take place in my mind. The stress, anger, sadness, and various emotions I dealt with were building blocks on my journey of understanding. There is no revisionist history, where you get to go back and make changes that result in perfection and bliss. All you have the opportunity to do is grow and become a better person, as cliche as that sounds. I’ve gone back and recognized how many relationships of mine had been broken in the past due to a lack of understanding and emotional control. I’ve also seen those same exes move on to marriages, families, and a life of happiness. While I am not saying this to take any credit, I hope that they did so by navigating their emotional journey the same way I did.
I had no clue how deep traumatic roots can go towards growing into weeds that affect and rot our relationships. The pandemic gave me time to sit down and explore my past while asking myself tough questions that gave me insight into who I am today. The pandemic gave me time to ask myself what I wanted out of life. Lastly, it challenged me to curate a life I was excited about without the extracurricular activity the “open” (post lockdown) world provides.
If I could share advice to anybody in a new relationship, an on-and-off relationship, or those going 10 years strong it is this: don’t go a day without learning and understanding yourself, your partner, and how you function as a unit. Although my relationship ended during the pandemic, I ended up coming back to a better friend, girlfriend, and most importantly I found myself.
[ad_2]
Source link
