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As I was reflecting on my thoughts and writing journal, I have asked myself “what is something in life that I find extremely difficult???”.
And the answer was not making money or doing a 9–5 for the rest of my life, but it is explaining to people that one size doesn’t fit all and that we as humans are different. Our thoughts, needs, and wants are different, and being accepted the way we are without being judged is the toughest part.
Growing up in a conservative south Indian society and moving to a completely different country in my early 20’s, I have changed as a person, and my values, beliefs, and perception of many things in life have changed and that feeling of not belonging has crept in.
It pushed me to a point where I started to ask myself “how to live or co-exist with people who have completely different opinions and values than yours. Be it politics, life, religion, or societal norms (I promise most of us don’t choose to live or exist with people who are of exact opposite to us but sometimes you aren’t left with much of an option like your family members or co-workers, neighbhours), and how to live with peace in those scenarios:
Here are the few things that have helped me:
Acceptance — Accepting the fact that your values for life will never be understood, or perceived in a good way and being okay with it. I no longer feel the need to explain why I think and feel a certain way especially when I am already aware the other person isn’t going to understand it in the first place or has a preconceived notion that they don’t want to change
Finding your own tribe — Building a community of people who think alike makes a world of difference. Find people with who you can share similar ideas and build a life progressively with optimism. Your tribe need not be your family, or friends always It can be someone from a Facebook group, meet up chat, or someone you might meet in a cafe over a cup of coffee.
Empathy — Understanding the fact that every person is brought up and raised differently, the circumstances and situations that they have faced in life are different from yours, and putting in a genuine effort to understand people from the place of love instead of judgment.
Imperfect — Realizing you have your own imperfections and understanding you are as imperfect as you think somebody else is. Just the area in which you are imperfect in life might be different. That whole thought by itself humbles me down.
Clear Boundaries — Not discussing, initiating, or prolonging a conversation on topics where two people are completely different and rather talk about the things with the similarities or same opinions and respectfully co-exist.
End Goal — Your end goal in life is something only you can decide and understand. Be it choosing where to live, be it building a start-up or doing at 9–5, be it living single or getting married by a certain age, Be it choosing whether or when to have kids. For example, Many former astronauts, did not believe in Elon Musk when he started SpaceX, and he was sad about this, but even negative opinions from people that Musk respected did not make him change his ideas or keep him from developing SpaceX, and look where SpaceX is at today. So what I am trying to say is choose a life that makes sense to you and that makes you happy and always remember in the end life in whole is the sum of choices you make. And once you are clear on what you want everything else and everyone’s opinion is just a mere noise that will fade away with time.
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