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It’s warm, so we want to eat our dinner in the back garden. The seagulls want to eat our dinner in the back garden too. One seagull in particular. It is standing on the roof of the shed, barely a wingspan away from where we sit, watching us while pretending that it’s not. It doesn’t look directly at us — instead it faces a half-turn away, as if it’s just killing time waiting for a bus instead of waiting for a half-second’s opportunity to swoop. It’s a bruiser, and its heavy steps rattle the steel roof.
This bird has developed a taste for meat. Slightly cremated barbecue meat. It has been encouraged by a successful raid on a burger bun earlier in the week, which
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