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“It was always me vs the world, until I found it was me vs me”. I heard that in a Kendrick Lamar song, ‘Duckworth’.
The line felt so simple yet to me it felt so deep especially because I can relate really well to it.
For a long time I felt like it was me against the world, I felt like I had ‘things’ to prove to certain people.
I felt like for some reason I needed to fit in and I needed to meet up to certain expectations and certain standards.
And for a long time I never knew I had it all wrong.
I got to realize that the only person I had anything to prove to was myself.
I have to prove to myself that I am stronger than I thought, I have to prove to myself that I can go get it if I want it, I have to prove to myself that I can and I will be better than I ever imagined.
Because really if you are trying to prove anything to anybody then it means you are living for said person or said people and you have to play by their rules and not yours.
There were times I’d blame other people when I couldn’t seem to find happiness.
Until I realized that I didn’t necessarily need to rely on other people to make me happy and that I was solely responsible for creating my own happiness.
They were times I had excuses for my ‘failures’ or ‘mistakes’.
Until I learned to take responsibilities for my own action, I realized that I was the only one responsible for allowing myself to repeatedly make the same mistakes.
I blamed everybody and everything else when things didn’t work out how I wanted it until I found out I was the one holding myself back; until I found that I am my biggest rival.
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Till next time.
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