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Weight loss is fucking hilarious. Let me tell you what, as somebody who put faith in the nutrition labels and the 2,000 calories a day suggestion from the federal government, I made a mistake. I was getting brutalized by food. 2,000 calories is a comical amount of food. Most people don’t need 2,000 calories.
For reference, if you are somehow unfamiliar with the 2,000 calorie diet, it is the baseline for the USDA diet propaganda from the 90s, causing me to presume my entire life that 2,000 calories is just what you’re expected to eat.
https://www.webmd.com/diet/what-to-know-2000-calorie-meal-plan#1
This 2,000 calorie diet is what I was raised upon as a child expecting and understood to be normal, not that I had ever counted calories or understood a damn thing about it, I just knew “for calories, 2,000 calories a day is normal”.
2,000 calories is not normal, and the fact that this is the “average diet” in America demonstrates a terrible misunderstanding of how diets need to work. This has easily played a massive part in Why people became so obese, because this “normal diet” is way too much for smaller people, as I have learned through my previous diet argument.
I wrote a previous article on weight loss. The psychological elements were good, the basic understanding of metabolism is fine, it’s just the meal portioning and calorie constraints were way too generous. I still use the plan of one meal, the same meal, every day, but I’m not to the point where I would ever want to skip it, and I need to take food with my morning and night medicines anyways to keep them down.
In my previous weight loss article, I wrote about how the 2,000 calorie diet was standard, so a 1,500 calorie diet would be a reduction and cause weight loss. This is nonsense. I go to the doctor, she tells me that I’m borderline overweight, which is a fair point, but this also points to the fact that my concept of a diet was bullshit.
1,500 calories a day is not a diet for all people, maybe for a large man it is, but as somebody who just took things at face value and trusted the FDA or whoever invented the “Get 2,000 calories a day” argument, I definitely made a mistake.
At 5’0 and 130 pounds, the goal I had of 1,500 calories a day did not help me lose any weight, it just made me sustain the weight I had. Granted, the “diet” just consisted of me eating what I regularly eat for the most part and presuming I would lose weight since I counted the calories and the numbers seemed to add up.
To be fair, my weight of 130 isn’t deadly obese or anything, but my diet wasn’t effective at all, and I don’t want to gain any more weight. Something I should have looked into was the calorie count you actually need to lose weight, which, in reality, varies greatly based upon height, weight, and exercise. I decided to go back to the calorie counter, and step-down from the “I don’t need to count calories” argument.
https://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html
The first time, a few months ago, I just went ahead and smashed the calculate button without changing the defaults, and suddenly I’m a 165 lb, 5’10 man who exercises 4–5 times a week. This is why I figured “Hey, the calculator says 1,500 calories a day to lose 2 lbs a week”, and I figured that basic normal recipe for people wouldn’t vary much with differences in the person since everybody is supposedly eating 2,000 calories a day. The numbers seemed to check out, and I wrote that article figuring that everybody is about the same.
Clearly I’m not a 5’10 man and I don’t exercise at all, let alone 4–5 times a week. The fact that I sure as shit wasn’t losing 2lbs a week helped me realize that. An honest mistake on my part and a bit of hasty generalization.
To respect the doctor telling me to watch my weight, I realized I needed a new plan. I went back to the calculator and put my info in. 30 years old, female, and sedentary, just to double check the number I need to shoot for.
The calculator spits out 477 calories a day, instead of the 1549 I had expected. It turns out the roughly 1500 calories a day that I figured qualified as a diet is actually what I need just to stay the same weight, which is borderline overweight.
This helped me realize that eating 2–3 small meals a day isn’t going to get me any progress. I tried to get my meal plan down to the 477 calories a day that the calculator recommends. I’m still following the 1-meal diet, but it’s just not as glorious as eating eggs and toast.
The 504 calorie diet consists of…
Breakfast
1 Bread — 60 Calories
1 tbsp butter — 102 calories
1/2 cup 1% milk in coffee — 60 calories
Then fasting and water all day until bedtime where I have
Bedtime
1 Bread — 60 calories
1 tbsp butter — 102 calories
1 cup 1% milk — 120 calories
These are my two meals a day. Every day. No snacks, no treats, no cheating, nothing. This is 504 calories, a little bit above the suggested target of 477 calories, but still pretty close.
To my surprise, this actually works very well and I’ve lost two pounds this week. The calorie calculator is no joke. It was hard on the first day to resist the cravings because I felt hunger and wanted to content it by eating. After fighting off that hunger for a few hours, my body just said “forget it” and I’ve not been hungry since, and it’s been a week. Now I’m just used to it and don’t even want to eat during the day. My body just stays in “fat burning mode” or whatever, eating the fat and contenting itself that way.
Eating, while it is a comfort, and it’s a hedonistic pleasure, once you abandon it and just reduce yourself to this sort of diet, your body doesn’t seem to mind burning fat. It will complain for a few hours and just say, “This is fine, I don’t really care”.
At this rate, 2 lbs a week, it will still take me 10 weeks of this to get down to 110, which is 21.5 BMI, right in the middle of the normal weight range of 18.5 to 25, so that’s the target weight.
I know it says “consult a doctor” if you want to lose more than 2 lbs a week, but this is just intermittent fasting and is justified by all of the doctors and whoever else. It’s all the rage. Look up the symptoms of “losing weight too fast”, and that’s just that you might lose some muscle mass or something. Just drink plenty of water, you’ll be fine.
It will still take me 2 to 3 months of this diet to get down to normal weight, but I’m already used to it, and it’s really not that bad. Food made me feel like shit anyways half the time, and since I can’t cook very well, I’m not missing out on anything good.
Trust me, after you get past the first 12 hours, after you hold yourself to this for 24 hours, you just get used to it and you don’t even feel hungry.
I know this seems “anorexic” to eat this little, but I’m impatient and this is the easiest way for me to accomplish weight loss. Trust me, I feel guilty and think of myself as “anorexic”, but I’m not trying to look like a fat fuck at the doctor, that shame is probably more painful since she’s the only one who asks me to take my shirt off. It’s uncomfortable when somebody else has to look at my shameless chubby mess of a body. Clearly I’m not going to exercise, so that’s off the table, so strict diet is my only option here.
If I would settle for 1 lb weight loss a week, this is 977 calories, which allows me to have another two pieces of toast a day and one more glass of milk. At that rate, it’s just not worth it, especially since I’m not hungry anyways, at least not after a week.
Don’t try to turn your nose up at this strategy, it’s simple, contains no real diet meal nonsense. It’s just a pretty normal breakfast, skipping lunch, then having breakfast for dinner instead of cooking something. It’s not too bad, and the most important part is that it actually works. Just use the calculator, because the 2,000 calorie average diet and 1,500 calorie “weight loss diet” are horseshit for the most part.
Granted, I’m sure some people would be more creative with a 477 calorie diet, they’d have a bunch of vegetables or something. Vegetables are devoid of nutrition for the most part. Milk gives me fat, protein, and carbs, while bread gives me carbs and protein. These are real foods that provide sustenance. What do vegetables provide? Mostly just sugar. Look it up, but if you’re gullible enough to believe in “magical vegetables”, then I doubt seeing the nutrition facts would mean anything to you. A cucumber for reference.
https://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/vegetables-and-vegetable-products/2439/2
Don’t even think about eating fruit. A large banana is 120 calories. 93% of which is just carbs, most of which is just sugar.
https://nutritiondata.self.com/facts/fruits-and-fruit-juices/1846/2
If you want to exercise… go for it? Good luck I guess, it’s not for me.
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