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HUMOR
Work more efficiently by implementing these strategies
Why do you struggle to work efficiently?
Without even knowing you, I can tell that you lack time and energy. You want to stop procrastinating so you can focus on your work and become extremely wealthy. But for one reason or another, nothing seems to work. It sucks, right?
We all know that most productivity advice on the internet is unrealistic and filled with BS. Seriously… Who can actually work until 2am on a side hustle while barely making enough money to pay the bills? Probably not you.
Look, I understand how you feel. I’ve been in the same position as you many times. But once I implemented the following strategies, it became much easier to work efficiently:
I’m a big fan of Elon Musk. He launches rockets into space and is one of the most prolific entrepreneurs in the world. So as you might expect, I’ve taken inspiration from his incredible productivity strategies.
According to Entrepreneur Magazine, Elon Musk schedules his day by creating “time blocks” of five minutes. However, I like to go a step further by scheduling every second of the day. It makes me happy because my ego is centered around my ability to get things done. Woohoo.
Anyway, I wake up at 5.29am each morning (and not a second later). I then get out of bed and shower for 8 minutes and 45 seconds. Following that, I eat breakfast for ten minutes before pooping for thirty seconds.
Fun fact: I’m lactose intolerant so drinking a gallon of milk with breakfast helps me poop quickly. If something saves time, it’s always worth it.
If you want to manage your time more effectively, consider following in my footsteps by scheduling every second of your day. The impact this strategy could have on your productivity is profound.
If it normally takes four hours to run the New York Marathon, I’ll aim to complete it in one.
Similarly, my company is struggling, so I have to make several employees redundant. But instead of holding an hour-long meeting, I’ll send the bad news in a text message. That only takes two minutes.
Sure, my strategies are somewhat unconventional. People criticize me all the time because I lack empathy. However, I think differently from the mediocre majority because my mindset is so much better. And by setting overly ambitious targets, I can get things done quicker than anyone else.
What’s not to love about that?
The above habits enable me to stay highly productive throughout the day. I’m the guy that inspires people to make motivational YouTube videos on productivity because I work so damn much.
So, if you want to be highly productive (like me), steal the above habits for yourself. Because once you implement them, your life will never be the same.
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Important Disclaimer: This article is a joke, fictional, and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Therefore, it should not be considered business, financial, or legal advice.
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