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Today wasn’t just another day at the office.
Today wasn’t just another day at the office. An eval was scheduled for ten o’clock, and I particularly enjoy working with new clients. Seeing people’s potential — and then their jaw drop — while going through this life-changing experience is priceless. That makes today a bit more special than any other. Her name is Kristal.
Before her session, Kristal confided that she had experienced some losses in her life and wanted to get back on track mentally, physically, and emotionally. Without intending to minimize or dismiss her struggles, I think all of us face these kinds of obstacles at some point.
After filling out the paperwork, I proceeded to instruct the prospective client on what her expectations should be from our assessment.
I invited Kristal to step on the treadmill and said, “Today we shouldn’t try to get stronger, faster, and leaner. I just want you to be yourself. If we always try to become stronger, faster, leaner, or smarter every single day, 365 days a year, what sustains us right now? What gets us through every day?”
Not strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, and good enough.
Making more money, improving relationships, or becoming a stronger, faster, leaner, and better version of ourselves is a given and something we strive for, regardless of where we are right now. Our expectations will grow at the same rate as our strengths.
However, we need to have moments, if not hours or days, where we can feel strong enough, fast enough, and good enough because we will always act based on who we are and how we feel about ourselves.
Therefore, if we feel low, low is what we will put out to the world, and low is what we will receive.
I explained to Kristal, “Everyone has strengths and good qualities, including you. Focusing on them will help us have a successful training session and move forward and closer to our goals.
“I want you to give me exactly what I ask for this session. Nothing more, and nothing less.
“Exercising is problem-solving, no different from any task. During your exercise routine, you’re going to come to a point where you need to make a choice that will either help you move forward or stop you in your tracks. Our goal today — and every day — is to move forward and learn from our decisions.”
It’s important to understand that decisions are never bad. Even the worst ones throughout history were attempts to solve a problem, defend a point of view, or seek justice. The first priority is not to blame ourselves for mistakes but to discover our intention.
Kristal had a great start. As the training routine progressed, she adjusted her form, made great choices, and finished every exercise. There is nothing wrong with her — although I feel she would disagree with me on this. There is nothing wrong with any of us. The only problem is thinking we have a problem.
My advice to her and you is to defend your strengths, not your limitations.
Like most of us, Kristal is smart, strong, and good enough to tackle any obstacle. She might not feel as strong or as lean as she wants right now, but what we focus on grows. If we want our strengths to grow, we need to focus on them.
Feeling strong enough, smart enough, and good enough isn’t something we are born with. It is a learned behavior. Practice. Practice. Practice.
Our ultimate goal is to be happy. Period. Whether we want to make more money, find a new life-long partner, lose weight, or discover our passion, as long as we don’t purposely hurt anyone and ourselves, we should never judge the decisions that get us there.
This is what I told Kristal at the end of our session: “I want you to do life the same way you exercised today, adjusting and doing whatever it takes to accomplish your goals. But don’t try to be both player and referee at the same time. It doesn’t work like that.
“If you need to be happy with less, be happy with less. If you need to slow down, or ask for help, do that. Being happy doesn’t mean you won’t strive for better or more. Again, that’s a given. However, I believe that any day without joy is a day we lose forever.”
Please don’t get me wrong here. I am not saying not to be sad or that being sad, disappointed, or angry is bad. Every sadness or joy is a reaction to a failed or exceeded expectation.
If you feel stuck or want to move forward, achieve your goals, and have more joy, adjust your expectations or activities.
Pick a day, an hour, or even a moment every day where you do feel smart enough, strong enough, and good enough. Remember, joy is the goal, and our decisions are the tools that get us there.
Thank you, and God bless.
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