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This step may require you to go one level deeper. Letting go is more than just releasing a habit but letting go of the old version of yourself that no longer serves you. Perhaps you made up these rules and habits when you were much younger and in a different life stage. These habits served you then, but you find it difficult to accept that they are now hindering your progress.
The challenge is that we want to stay consistent with how we identify ourselves. Perhaps you identified yourself as the life of the party in your younger years, but now that you have a family, your priorities have changed. The hardest part about letting go of old habits is the feeling you are incongruent with who you are.
Author of Atomic Habits, James Clear, says that true behaviour change is identity change. Anyone can eat healthily once or twice or go for a walk now and then, but it is difficult to create sustainable change if you don’t change the belief behind the behaviour.
Don’t go for a run but call yourself a runner, meditator, or writer. You may feel like a fraud or inauthentic to yourself to change your identity without having a track record of running. The only way to convince yourself you are changing is to take action. Every time you write, you are creating evidence that you are a writer.
To let go of the old version of yourself, you need to consider who you would like to become.
You can journal about this and create a powerful version of your future self. Perhaps you want to change careers or take on a role that requires public speaking. To allow yourself to step into that person, you need to drop the habit of avoiding speaking opportunities and instead show up to every opportunity available to you.
Your present behaviours need to be in alignment with the person you are becoming.
I was coaching a client who suffered from severe food restriction. She wanted to change but didn’t know how to let go of the current version of herself. She liked what she saw in the mirror despite it being incredibly unhealthy and destructive.
We went onto Instagram and researched female athletes whose bodies she admired. She then put that image as the screensaver on her phone and laptop to get used to the new image she was working towards — someone who was fit, healthy, and above all, kind to herself.
This change doesn’t have to be so drastic for you. Maybe you want to ditch the habit of procrastination? Who epitomises success for you, and how can you create this persona for yourself? It is not trying to be someone else but incorporating the traits they role model into your being.
Replace the habit of putting off the task for the habit of starting, even if you only work on the task for 5 minutes. Every time you keep your commitment to yourself, you create evidence that you are no longer a procrastinator but someone you can trust.
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