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And Other Learnings from This Month’s Reads.

A lot of personal development books contain the same strategies. The usual — eat well, sleep, and exercise. It begins to feel like you’re reading the same book over and over. Especially, when the same stories and studies are being used.
Every month, I share a new insight I gained from the books I’ve read. Each insight reveals a new perspective or serves as an inspiration for improving your life.
Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The key element of an optimal experience is that it is an end in itself. Even if initially undertaken for other reasons, the activity that consumes us is intrinsically rewarding.
My flow experiences are few and far between. One of the few times I was in a flow state, I was designing an Excel spreadsheet for work. While I started the task for extrinsic reasons, my boss gave me the assignment, I became absorbed as I learned to design the spreadsheet. It became intrinsically rewarding because using new tools challenged me and fulfilled my curiosity.
Now I keep a list in my Google Keep of all the times I experience flow so that I can analyze the commonalities and repeat them.
Ask yourself, “When was the last time I was in a flow state?”. Try writing down all the times you can think of. What do they all have in common? How can you implement more optimal experiences into your life?
Wintering by Katherine May

It [wintering] is the active acceptance of sadness. It is the practice of allowing ourselves to feel it as a need. It is the courage to stare down the worst parts of our experience and to commit to reading them as best we can.
In our society today feeling sad is frowned upon. From a young age, we’re taught to distract ourselves when we feel sad. When we see a sad child, we can’t bear it — we try everything to cheer them up instead of letting them process their emotions.
Wintering is a period in life that comes after a perceived negative life event. I’ve learned to take time to be sad and process change when it happens. I avoid making plans and limit my texting. Most importantly, I don’t chastise myself for feeling down. This is pivotal for my recovery.
The Year of Less by Cait Flanders

There were really only two categories I could see: the stuff I used, and the stuff I wanted the ideal version of myself to use.
This is an easy way to help you declutter.
I’m guilty of owning clothes that my ideal self would wear — like a pair of high heel boots. They aren’t practical for driving or icy sidewalks, but I’d like to think I’d wear them.
You can also use it when purchasing items too. Ask yourself, “Is this for me? Or is this for the ideal version of me?”. It can help you avoid impulse purchases.
Limitless by Jim Kwik

Did you know that you read faster by holding a book upright instead of flat?
When you look at print from an angle it can strain your eyes. I’ve been reading my books upright ever since, and my eyes no longer get tired!
Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks

If there is something that you desire that you currently do not have, and you put your attention upon your current state of not having it, then the Law of Attraction will continue to match that not having it vibration, so you will continue to not have that which you desire.
The Law of Attraction is based on the belief that like attract like. Many people use the Law of Attraction to attract money. Oftentimes people say, “I want more money”, but they’re actually sending out the opposite signal.
If you’re in a state of lack, you may say, “I don’t have money for XYZ.” You may feel strong emotions when say it. As the lack of money is your dominant thought, the Universe is responding in the opposite way that you want.
To change your dominant thought to abundance, act as if you’re already rich. This doesn’t mean spending lots of money but rather, it’s taking the time to appreciate what your current money affords you. You could say, “I have money to treat my friend to coffee” or “I am fortunate to have money to pay my rent”, etc.
Something quirky that I like to do is thank my money directly every time I receive or spend it.
Skip the Line by James Altucher

As writers, sometimes idea generation can be difficult. I found using Idea Calculation to be a helpful way to come up with ideas.
One of Altucher’s main messages in his book is to write ten ideas a day. Idea creation is a muscle, the more we use it, the easier it is to come up with ideas.
Idea Calculation
Idea Addition — Take a popular idea and make it better or add something quirky to it.
For example, productivity articles are popular but usually about a single person’s journey. Write an article about how your whole family implemented five productivity tips and how it changed your lives (or didn’t).
Idea Subtraction — Take an impossible idea to implement and remove the reason you can’t do it (e.g., money) and see what’s left.
For example, you have an idea for a website, but you don’t have any money to build one, so how can you create something similar? Perhaps you use a free social media website first.
Idea Multiplication — Take an idea, prove that it works, change one aspect of it (e.g., location) and repeat it.
For example, you write on Medium and become successful, so you try writing similar content on another writing website.
Idea Division — Take an idea and make it smaller.
For example, you start writing articles on a general topic, then you niche it down more: General topic > Books > Nonfiction books > self-help books > self-help books from Canadian authors, and so on.
Thrive by Arianna Huffington

The preoccupations of our daily life can never satisfy our deepest needs.
As I’m writing this, I look over at the pile of dishes on the countertop. It’s tempting when we have a free moment to tend to our daily chores. I have two young children and it’s easy for me to clean up here and there when I have a free moment. Usually, after I’ve cleaned up, made my tea and sit down to write, I hear the cries in the background. The moment to engage in fulfilling work has passed.
But what if I just push all the chores away (like I’ve done today)? They still get done, but now I’ve recruited my eldest son to help me. He loves putting the dishes away. It’s become a new activity he looks forward to.
Things that need to be done will end up getting done. Now I prioritize my writing and it’s improved my life.
The Comfort Book by Matt Haig

You are the goal.
You don’t have to continually improve yourself. Love is not something you deserve only if you reach a goal. The world is one of pressure but don’t let it squeeze your self-compassion. You were born worthy of love and remain worthy of love. Be kind to yourself.
As a lover of personal development books, every book I’ve read tells me that I need to improve. If I stay in my current state, I am stagnant. We don’t always need to be moving forward. Sometimes, it’s nice just to stay in one place for a while.
(Note: This was my favourite book this month.)
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